A reflection on our 3.5 year struggle with infertility. Laura and I are are pleased to announce that we are expecting a baby boy in late-May 2014. We’re so excited to have a little human being join us in our adventures. It has been a 3.5 year journey of infertility to get here. That is a long time to face a problem. I wanted to write some of my thoughts about our experience because we aren’t unique. Infertility is on the rise in many developed nations, but it isn’t discussed much, in part because it is difficult. The experience of being infertile is painful. Many couples who are infertile divorce because the struggle is often isolating and divisive. With a cursory understanding of genetics, it’s easy to think that infertility is a evolutionary failsafe. This by no means encompasses the spectrum of reasons why people are infertile. Laura and I like to plan. Laura and I ‘pulled the goalie’ when she was still in law school and before I started Kiind. I was racing as a pro athlete at the time. We figured that it would be wiser for her to have a baby while still in school, so she could get to lawyering when she was ready without the ‘possibility of pregnancy’ looming. Laura has endometriosis, so we thought that getting pregnant might take a few more tries than most people. Endometriosis isn’t a show-stopper, so we figured we’d stop birth control and go from there. After trying for about 9 months, we realized that our plans would not come to pass as expected. Laura had an operation, we did some cursory tests, and we kept trying. Still nothing. We started being very intentional about intercourse. It wasn’t until a few months of making intercourse a scheduled event that I really started to feel the weight of the struggle. Planned intercourse sucked much of the joy from sex. Intercourse became layered with the hope of accomplishing something and the fear of failure. The timelines get fuzzy for me, but after about a 14 months of trying it was clear that we needed to investigate medical interventions. For the record, we did try to “just forget about it and have fun”—a piece of advice I got from many well-meaning people. Meanwhile, our lives were becoming more chaotic with both our careers. Adding a baby to the mix would be an additional challenge. Yet, because we knew were were having issues, choosing to wait would only decrease our chance of success given that Laura is into her 30s. Things were completely out of control. We couldn’t plan. The risks associated with stopping our attempts were stark. The struggle to keep trying was draining. There was no joy in the journey. I’m going to skip the details of the different drugs (too many to count), artificial insemination (2 attempts), and in vitro protocols (2nd attempt succeeded) we tried over a period of years—not to mention the associated expenses. With each failed attempt, we lost more hope and had to undertake more drastic and invasive interventions. Over the course of the treatments, we increasingly concluded that egg-quality was the culprit. It has been a hard journey. There were times where I almost stopped and refused to participate. I am full of joy at the prospect of being a father, but the path getting here has altered me. I’m excited to move on to the next chapter and welcome new life. This pregnancy coincides with a number of other promising changes in my life. I’m ready.